Harry Styles’ Exes in the Bar None Wallpaper – Click on the Photo for a Wallpaper
There’s only one direction to go from here and that’s further down. Read on to see exactly what Harry styles. (Hint: it’s puke.)
Here’s a ditty NOT from my juiced-box, dedicated to Harry and his Exes: One Direction – Up All Night
[Click on the link to find out why Harry was Up All Night. Hint: He was puking.]
Hairy Styles Cannot Hold His Liquor
The proof is, he keeps throwing it up all over the place.
There’s this English kid called Hairy Styles which sounds more like a fashion statement than a name but that’s how they roll in jolly olde England. If you’ve never heard of this guy don’t worry, i haven’t either. My ignorance isn’t all that surprising, though, when you realize i know everything there is to know about good music.
The reason i’m babbling on about this kid is because this photo was splattered all over the front page of the Internet a while back. Seems Hairy had to pull over and stomach sneeze.
At first i thought he’d been innocently listening to the radio when all of a sudden one of his own songs came on and, before he could change the station, he heard enough of it to make him hurl. Turns out there was a contributing factor. In addition to getting sick on his own tunes, he also had a hangover from drinking the night before with Lily Allen at the Nice Guy Bar in LA.
Harry Styles after the Bar None
My assumption that his music was to blame is understandable, though, when you realize the effect One Direction’s “songs” (and i use the term as loosely as a whore’s vagina after giving birth at a donkey show) have on humanity at large. For example, check out these poor, impressionable young things that accidentally heard One Direction…
The music is killing us from the inside!!!!!
“Oh my god, mom! They raped my ears with their limp penis pop!”
“I’m ruined for life! I can’t un-hear it! I CAN’T UNHEAR IT!”
“You have a One Direction Ringtone!? Make It Staaahhhppp!!!!”
“The noises you make are making me vomit!!!”
“My ears! My ears! Clean them with bleach!!!”
“How much pain can one girl bear!? I just got my period and now this!”
Which is not to say all girls hate the band, but One Direction fans are a special breed.
And collectively, these fan girls have formed the Nutsy party with the intention of eliminating all traces of good music from the planet with an ordered and systematic final solution. They’ve even given an old salute a modern twist to hail their leader.
But if you’re a One Direction fan and would like to date one of the members of this boys bandwagon, look at the following photographs of Hairy Styles’ exes and ask yourself: 1) Am I that hot? 2) Do I drink that much? If the answer to either is “No”, then send me an email with a naked picture of yourself (or at least topless) and then we’ll see which direction we go.
Cara Delevingne
Cara Delevingne in the Bar None
Taylor Swift
Taylor Swift in the Bar None
Kendall Jenner
Kendall Jenner in the Bar None
Kimberly Stewart
Kimberly Stewart in the Bar None
Caggie Dunlop
Caggie Dunlop in the Bar None Wallpaper – Click on the shot for a Wallpaper
Emily Atack
Emily Atack in the Bar None
Emily Ostilly
Emma Ostilly outside the Bar None
Felicity Skinner
Felicity Skinner in the Bar None
Kara Rose Marshall
Kara Rose Marshall in the Bar None
Caroline Flack
Caroline Flack in the Bar None
Bar None Dregs
Let me take a moment now to raise a glass of Pepsi Max and and drink a dry toast to Saint Pauly over at WTF!? (Watch the Film). A few years ago he started his little blog where he imitated my writing style (the sick bastard), and after a few emails, i encouraged him to be his gay self and press on. Well, last week was the first week that WTF!? (Watch the Film) surpassed this blog in total readers, so i want to congratulate him on well deserved success. And to take some credit for it. And to tell him now he has to start promoting the shit out of this blog, for a change.
His latest review is…
WTF!? review of Behaving Badly
As for me, go here for a complete list of all my websites on one page so you don’t miss out on any of my shit.
Bar None Drawers
Prints to share with your friends and Facebook page
What lies beyond is even more NSFW than the shit you just saw.
Cara Delevingne
Taylor Swift
Kendall Jenner
Kimberly Stewart
Emily Atack
Caggie Dunlop
Emma Ostilly
Didn’t get your fill of the dregs? i keep them on tap right here.
